Energy Drainers & Energy Givers - Holidays Edition
Holiday Season has arrived (well, according to the retail/media world, it arrived about October 1st - so we’re actually in the thick of it…)
It’s also the time of year we ‘plug in’ way too many activities, tasks, “should do’s”, worries and stressors into our lives - causing overload, anxiety and exhaustion.
Even in ‘regular times’ of the year, there are so many ‘energy takers’ throughout our day, we struggle to recognize what they are and how we need to (or can) adjust them. Holiday Season just intensifies those habits.
We often find ourselves drifting through our day without thinking we can have much impact on what’s draining us … or how we can shift over instead to what gives us energy and resets. Take a look at the lists below and think about how you’re spending most of your day, what’s draining your energy or ‘battery’.. and what you can add or change.
ENERGY DRAINERS
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ENERGY DRAINERS -
ENERGY DRAINERS
(these are the many 'cords’ draining our capacity to have energy, things that make us feel like we’re running around like a candle burning at both ends and also make it very difficult to be present with ourselves & enjoy the moment)
People pleasing - trying to make everyone happy
Difficulty saying ‘no’
Too much screen time / scrolling on social media - whoa can this be a big one this time of year… seeing everyone else’s highlight reels on the apps can be a major trigger for stress and ‘not good enough’ feelings
Fear, doubt - about many things
Overthinking - about basically every small thing
Overscheduling - trying to get all the things done in a small time frame
“Shoulding” on ourselves… “I should do this, I should do that”
Clutter and messiness - holidays really bring out the ‘stuff’, so much ‘stuff’
Dehydration - not remembering to drink water throughout the day during a cold, dry time of year
Loneliness - sometimes it’s too many people around but the holidays can also feel isolating in many ways or remind us of significant losses in our lives
Not eating enough during the day - getting so busy that you forget to eat
Overworking - overextending self in the work area of life
Not enough movement - forgetting to just get up and move during the day because we’re so busy
Sitting for too long
Focusing too much on the past… or overfocusing on the future
Being in ‘autopilot’ mode most of day
Setting unrealistic expectations for self/others
Lots of ‘invisible to-do lists’ floating around in your mind
ENERGY GIVERS
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ENERGY GIVERS -
ENERGY GIVERS
(these are the things that reset your battery, give you energy, allow you to remove some of the ‘cords from the outlet’ so you feel less anxious and function better)
Sunlight - even in small doses
Allowing yourself, even for 1-2 minutes, to just be in the moment
Enjoy nature - the air is crisp, trees are beautiful this time of year, berries and birds are around, snowflakes if that’s where you live, quiet beaches or mountains if that’s where you live, peaceful quiet parks if that’s where you live, etc…. get in tune with how nature ‘resets’ this time of year and sheds in order to restart anew
Hydrating - get yourself that cute or awesome water bottle/cup & carry it around all day
Nourishing food (for both health & taste buds!) - this includes allowing yourself to enjoy holiday fare w/o shame or guilt
Reduce caffeine a bit - wow is it easy to ‘over coffee’ this time of year (guilty here!) … but remember herbal teas are also so cozy and yummy this time of year:)
Fresh air - chilly air is a fantastic emotions regulator, resets our ANS (autonomic nervous system)
Move - this does NOT mean exercise… it just means get up from your desk, stretch, take a walk down the street or around the block, step outside your door to soak in air/sun for a few minutes
Music - okay, maybe not Mariah Carey… but find whatever music soothes or lights up your soul this time of year (it’s Ella & Louis for me); apps also offer meditation music tracks that can be very calming when you’re taking a ‘mindfulness moment’
Pausing to take a few deep breaths:
Envision breathing in / inhaling big breaths down into your belly
Take a brief 1-2 second retention pause
Then exhale slightly longer than inhale and with a sigh
….this is all you need to start changing your breathing pattern from shallow to deeper
Brief meditations (apps like Calm, Insight Timer, Headspace and others all offer 1-5 minute mediations that are wonderful - Insight Time is my personal go-to)
Sharing/receiving love: hugs, petting an animal, holding hands, saying/writing or sending loving & compassionate words
Boundaries: the holidays can really highlight difficult relationships and bring into our direct attention people we struggle with… if you need to establish internal/external boundaries, allow yourself to do this
‘Loving Kindness’ Meditations/Practices - as noted above, it’s a challenging world with challenging people in it… if possible (and with any needed boundaries), try to establish a compassionate mindset by sending caring kindness out for others
Meaningful connections - allow yourself time to just connect with loved ones; take time to have coffee with a friend, watch a movie with your family, bake some cookies with your kids/partner or just connect in with yourself via these activities!
Self-care (a bath, cup of tea, coffee shop break, get your nails done, etc)
Cleaning a small space around you (desktop, car, mail pile, etc) - holidays can really bring on the ‘stuff’! Try keeping it simple, organized and remember that your loved ones need your love more than they need things!
Positive affirmations - write them in your journal, say them to yourself, write on small notes and post all around you
“I’m doing the best I can, this is a tough time”
“I can only do what I can do - and that’s enough”
“I am worthy of love and self-care”
“I’m only seeing other’s highlight reels… the holidays are tough for everyone no matter what the photos say”
Saying to yourself, on repeat: “I’m doing the best I can right now - that’s all I can do”
Getting enough sleep - for most of us, that’s about 7 hours… your body needs sleep to function - sleep is your body’s fuel
Creativity - make, paint, sculpt, bake, etc.. this is actually a great time of year for this!
Reach out for therapy help if needed… we counselors are out here and we know very well how difficult this time of year can be (see below how to find a therapist if you’re struggling)
Bring yourself back to the present moment: remind yourself the past is done and can’t be changed and the future doesn’t exist yet….. what we all really have is this moment right now:)
Best, Jenn
*The information presented in this blog is intended for general knowledge and use only. It should not take the place of medical, clinical advice or licensed therapy. To find a licensed practitioner in your area, the Psychology Today Directory is an excellent resource.