Feeling Difficult Emotions - R.A.I.N. Method
Another way to manage your emotions when feeling overwhelmed is the R.A.I.N. technique or method. Recognizing, Accepting, Investigating and practicing Non-Identification or Natural Awareness are the elements of R.A.I.N. and described below. The R.A.I.N. method helps you use mindfulness and self-compassion to manage a difficult emotion or experience and then re-regulate. Rehearsing the RA.I.N. technique while you’re facing less challenging feelings or are in a calm state - to explore and practice - can help to make the technique more useful when you most need it.
THE R.A.I.N. METHOD
R: RECOGNIZE - Recognize what is happening... recognize the event and/or the emotion. Gently turn towards the experience with openness and non-judgment. Recognize and name your emotion - including where you’re feeling it in your body. This helps to open up inner space for the emotion to unfold and for you be fully connected to the present moment. “What is happening in this moment? How am I feeling? Where do I feel it in my body?”; “I’m feeling stressed, I’m feeling overwhelmed, I feel this in my head or my chest”.
(Take 1-2 belly breaths here… breathe in for 4 - hold - breathe out for 7.)
A: ACCEPT - Accept & Allow the experience or feeling to be there, just as it is. Acknowledge the present moment by softening your resistance. This does not mean we have to like it… but we are not resisting it. Resisting difficult emotions is a natural impulse but often creates more suffering and tension as we can easily get attached to thoughts and stories around why we’re fighting this feeling. Once we ‘say yes’ and allow the emotion in, our defenses reduce and we can respond (rather than react) to ourselves with more compassion and kindness. “I can just let the feelings be there, even if I don’t like it; I’m going to allow this present emotion to just be here without stories or negative thoughts attached.”
(Take 1-2 belly breaths here… breathe in for 4 - hold - breathe out for 7.)
I: INVESTIGATE - Investigate with kind and gentle attention. Be curious, have an open mind. This part of the practice allows us to connect to our emotion with wisdom and compassion, rather than react with impulsivity and anger. Slow your mind and softly inquire within: “Why am I feeling this way? Is it really true?; Are there events that have triggered this emotion?; What do I really need right now?; How can I nurture and support myself in this moment?”
(Take 1-2 belly breaths here… breathe in for 4 - hold - breathe out for 7.)
N: NON-IDENTIFICATION - Non-identification / Natural awareness of the thoughts and feelings - “I am having a thought or emotion, but I am not that thought or emotion.” Natural awareness comes from noticing what is happening but not over-identifying with the experience … and then letting it pass. You are not your emotions and your mind doesn’t have to be fused with your thoughts and feelings.
Once the moment has passed, practice self-care or do something that brings you joy while remaining aware and accepting of your full range of emotions.
Best, Jenn
Reference / Book Recommendation: Radical Compassion: Learning to Love Yourself and Your World With the Practice of RAIN by Tara Brach
*The information presented in this blog is intended for general knowledge and use only. It should not take the place of medical, clinical advice or licensed therapy. To find a licensed practitioner in your area, the Psychology Today Directory is an excellent resource.